Hi, Parents:
The teen group tonight went smoothly. They started off by talking about where we would be going for dinner. When I mentioned that it was “Japanese Food,” everyone was pretty excited, except one of the group members, (EF), was very disappointed. Fortunately, she was able to problem solve and recover, and, after a period of time, was not only was participating in the group, but was able to successfully order things at dinner. For everybody else, I would say that they had some pretty creative menu ordering skills, when it comes to Japanese food. They were as, or more, adventurous than many adults.
Overall, our pattern of, when we do go to dinner, letting the kids pretty much be by themselves with me just kind of wandering around occasionally or sending a counselor to deal with a specific issue is how we’ve been handling things. But I would say that probably tonight, 80% of the time we monitored them, but left them on their own.
Prior to dinner, what we did was continue the exercise that the parents who came to the meeting last time saw of different students saying what their most enjoyable thing was over the last year. Most of them chose to participate, and, in fact, eleven total participated in making an on-camera fifteen second speech. What I had the group doing tonight was recording the applause and congratulations, but doing it so it’s like a post-editing project. They will have a chance to see how this looks in a subsequent meeting and then finalize it.
Other than that, some of the group members who weren’t able to come last time picked up their raffle prizes. And, overall, it was a smooth, enjoyable meeting, with lots of them earning tickets for good conversations. The average number of tickets earned tonight ranged between a high of four blue tickets for one individual, three hero tickets for the child who was able to calm down, and a smattering of tickets here and there. But, everyone earned at least some tickets.
So, having said that, overall it was a nice, enjoyable time, and I am looking forward to seeing your kids for the next group meeting.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
School Year Teens 09-10 - Session 9
Hi, Parents:
Tonight went smoothly, and your kids really seemed to enjoy themselves. We started off by talking a little bit about what the evening would entail, and several of them responded with areas and questions that they were interested in having me bring up during the parent meeting. We also talked in general about what was happening in group, and the tone, interestingly, was different than in the kid group, as might be expected. Very few of the teens were actually looking at magazines; they were joking with one another; they were conversing; it was a really nice introduction to the group tonight. One of the teens (EF) was unhappy that we were going to be doing any kind of technology project, but when we reviewed when we had last done one, she acknowledged that it had been a while. The technology project, which occurred when they transitioned into the larger room, consisted of having them talk about something really great that had happened to them during the past year. We did a few retakes to help them with this, and I really thought of this as a blend of an executive function and pragmatic communication type of exercise.
Your kids had no problem talking to the camera, but some of them had difficulty initiating; some had difficulty staying focused during the suggested fifteen minute timeline, and some of them had trouble concluding and ending. These are all worth working on, and I will be writing these down to try and make their representations look as natural and effective as possible.
Shortly after we transitioned to Gelson’s, where they chose different things they wanted to eat, and had the meal outside family style, the parent meeting started at 6:00. Congratulations to MS’s parent, who was the only one there waiting. However, by 6:20, we actually had a very good turnout. Parents then asked many useful questions, and we talked about some of the different kinds of behaviors involving compulsions, effective socializing, the effects of a positive school environment on their children’s behaviors, and simply how they stay connected to peers.
Parents watched the movie that the kids had produced earlier in the evening, and we talked about the significance of it.
The evening ended with a raffle for your kids, and all of them had an opportunity to win something. With very few exceptions, counselors reported that this went smoothly.
All in all, a good evening. We will be looking forward to the parent dinner the second week in April, followed by the parent meeting in two months, then another parent dinner in June. There also will be two more community outings: one will likely be an extended trip to the nearby park, and one will be at a location yet to be determined, but likely something bowling or miniature golf.
Thanks very much, and email me if you have any questions.
Tonight went smoothly, and your kids really seemed to enjoy themselves. We started off by talking a little bit about what the evening would entail, and several of them responded with areas and questions that they were interested in having me bring up during the parent meeting. We also talked in general about what was happening in group, and the tone, interestingly, was different than in the kid group, as might be expected. Very few of the teens were actually looking at magazines; they were joking with one another; they were conversing; it was a really nice introduction to the group tonight. One of the teens (EF) was unhappy that we were going to be doing any kind of technology project, but when we reviewed when we had last done one, she acknowledged that it had been a while. The technology project, which occurred when they transitioned into the larger room, consisted of having them talk about something really great that had happened to them during the past year. We did a few retakes to help them with this, and I really thought of this as a blend of an executive function and pragmatic communication type of exercise.
Your kids had no problem talking to the camera, but some of them had difficulty initiating; some had difficulty staying focused during the suggested fifteen minute timeline, and some of them had trouble concluding and ending. These are all worth working on, and I will be writing these down to try and make their representations look as natural and effective as possible.
Shortly after we transitioned to Gelson’s, where they chose different things they wanted to eat, and had the meal outside family style, the parent meeting started at 6:00. Congratulations to MS’s parent, who was the only one there waiting. However, by 6:20, we actually had a very good turnout. Parents then asked many useful questions, and we talked about some of the different kinds of behaviors involving compulsions, effective socializing, the effects of a positive school environment on their children’s behaviors, and simply how they stay connected to peers.
Parents watched the movie that the kids had produced earlier in the evening, and we talked about the significance of it.
The evening ended with a raffle for your kids, and all of them had an opportunity to win something. With very few exceptions, counselors reported that this went smoothly.
All in all, a good evening. We will be looking forward to the parent dinner the second week in April, followed by the parent meeting in two months, then another parent dinner in June. There also will be two more community outings: one will likely be an extended trip to the nearby park, and one will be at a location yet to be determined, but likely something bowling or miniature golf.
Thanks very much, and email me if you have any questions.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
School Year Teens 09-10 - Session 8
Hi, Parents:
If you were to read the blog from last night’s kids group and read the teen blog, you would probably think that we just copied one from the other. But, in fact, we didn’t. These are two entirely separate reports.
The fact is that the teens last night were pretty close to perfect, by and large. We have a few kids in the group who are stuck on what I will call “sexual innuendos.” I’ve tried some different ways to have them show greater self control and self awareness of the impact of their comments, but frankly have not been so successful. So, when one of the staff reported that this occurred early last night when some of the kids were playing the Wii, I called three of them into my office and had a brief meeting with them. I explained to them that I had been ineffective at having them control their behavior and was wondering if they had any suggestions for how I might become more effective. Two of the members of this small group (AG, CH) caught on to what I was saying, recognized their own behavior and promised that they would take a more active role in controlling themselves. However, the third member (CP) appeared to have more trouble with this concept and tried to justify his behavior. We agreed, however, that this was something where I needed to be more effective in helping them, so I will closely monitor over the next couple of sessions to see what occurs. I consider this to be a pragmatic social skill, because they are not showing a sufficient level of awareness of the impact that their behavior has upon others.
So, it was off to John O’Groats for dinner in our private dining room, and that went wonderfully smoothly. The kids ordered off kids’ meal menus, early bird specials and adult menus, and everyone seemed to enjoy what they received. It was AG’s birthday last night, and we followed our rule of providing a dessert that he would like for the evening. We learned that chocolate was his favorite, (What a surprise!) and ordered a four layer chocolate fudge cake which came from Solley’s deli in Sherman Oaks. Seventeen candles; one of course for good luck, were added. When he mentioned to me several times during group that it was his birthday, and I explained that I wished I had known about it before, I believe that helped produce the surprise that we wanted.
One of the reasons for doing this isn’t just to celebrate a birthday, but rather to give the kids an opportunity to practice being able to celebrate birthdays with another child and display appropriate behaviors during that time. It was one of the nicest birthday renditions I have heard, and we have it on video.
During dinner, the teens watched a video of the group, and appeared to enjoy seeing themselves in different settings during the group. There was lots of conversation, and the counselors spent very little time intervening. We did enforce our rule of saying, “please,” and, “thank you,” to the wait staff, and we also used our procedure of having the wait staff take back the items that they had put down if they did not receive a proper thank you. This had the desired result of giving them another opportunity to gracefully accept their food or beverage from the server. Otherwise, the evening was fairly uneventful. A couple of times, some of the kids came over and wanted to sit either near me or near one of the counselors, and we sent them back. This was not to be cold-hearted; but rather to really help them recognize that gravitating to adults is not necessarily a good escape for managing feelings of frustration that they might have when they are around their peers. Also, because peers can be noisy, I think overall helping them learn to increase their tolerance for noise or to say something to try to bring the noise level down is more effective than simply going over to adults. We also found that some of the participants engaged in what I felt were age-inappropriate reactions to certain common situations, such as asking to use the restroom. We use modeling and positive practice as a way of increasing and working on these skills.
Overall, a wonderful evening with the kids. Parents came right on time to pick them up, and that was very much appreciated. As a reminder, parents, there will be a parent meeting from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on Thursday, March 4. Please do not bring any siblings. This has been creating a serious problem and interfering with the group process. It is critical that, if you are planning to attend the parent meeting, there be no one else there other than an adult and your child, who is going to be attending group. I really hope that all parents respect this rule. Thanks very much. I look forward to seeing you soon.
If you were to read the blog from last night’s kids group and read the teen blog, you would probably think that we just copied one from the other. But, in fact, we didn’t. These are two entirely separate reports.
The fact is that the teens last night were pretty close to perfect, by and large. We have a few kids in the group who are stuck on what I will call “sexual innuendos.” I’ve tried some different ways to have them show greater self control and self awareness of the impact of their comments, but frankly have not been so successful. So, when one of the staff reported that this occurred early last night when some of the kids were playing the Wii, I called three of them into my office and had a brief meeting with them. I explained to them that I had been ineffective at having them control their behavior and was wondering if they had any suggestions for how I might become more effective. Two of the members of this small group (AG, CH) caught on to what I was saying, recognized their own behavior and promised that they would take a more active role in controlling themselves. However, the third member (CP) appeared to have more trouble with this concept and tried to justify his behavior. We agreed, however, that this was something where I needed to be more effective in helping them, so I will closely monitor over the next couple of sessions to see what occurs. I consider this to be a pragmatic social skill, because they are not showing a sufficient level of awareness of the impact that their behavior has upon others.
So, it was off to John O’Groats for dinner in our private dining room, and that went wonderfully smoothly. The kids ordered off kids’ meal menus, early bird specials and adult menus, and everyone seemed to enjoy what they received. It was AG’s birthday last night, and we followed our rule of providing a dessert that he would like for the evening. We learned that chocolate was his favorite, (What a surprise!) and ordered a four layer chocolate fudge cake which came from Solley’s deli in Sherman Oaks. Seventeen candles; one of course for good luck, were added. When he mentioned to me several times during group that it was his birthday, and I explained that I wished I had known about it before, I believe that helped produce the surprise that we wanted.
One of the reasons for doing this isn’t just to celebrate a birthday, but rather to give the kids an opportunity to practice being able to celebrate birthdays with another child and display appropriate behaviors during that time. It was one of the nicest birthday renditions I have heard, and we have it on video.
During dinner, the teens watched a video of the group, and appeared to enjoy seeing themselves in different settings during the group. There was lots of conversation, and the counselors spent very little time intervening. We did enforce our rule of saying, “please,” and, “thank you,” to the wait staff, and we also used our procedure of having the wait staff take back the items that they had put down if they did not receive a proper thank you. This had the desired result of giving them another opportunity to gracefully accept their food or beverage from the server. Otherwise, the evening was fairly uneventful. A couple of times, some of the kids came over and wanted to sit either near me or near one of the counselors, and we sent them back. This was not to be cold-hearted; but rather to really help them recognize that gravitating to adults is not necessarily a good escape for managing feelings of frustration that they might have when they are around their peers. Also, because peers can be noisy, I think overall helping them learn to increase their tolerance for noise or to say something to try to bring the noise level down is more effective than simply going over to adults. We also found that some of the participants engaged in what I felt were age-inappropriate reactions to certain common situations, such as asking to use the restroom. We use modeling and positive practice as a way of increasing and working on these skills.
Overall, a wonderful evening with the kids. Parents came right on time to pick them up, and that was very much appreciated. As a reminder, parents, there will be a parent meeting from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on Thursday, March 4. Please do not bring any siblings. This has been creating a serious problem and interfering with the group process. It is critical that, if you are planning to attend the parent meeting, there be no one else there other than an adult and your child, who is going to be attending group. I really hope that all parents respect this rule. Thanks very much. I look forward to seeing you soon.
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