School Year Teen 09-10 - Session 13

Parents,

Tonight was a very smooth night for the teens. A little bit sad in that we talked about there being two sessions left, but we planned out the next two sessions out as a group and I think they’re going to have a nice time. Next meeting, we’re going to be having miniature golf, arcade and then walk for about fifteen minutes and go to the Galleria for dinner so you’ll be dropping them off at one place and you’ll be picking them up at another place. Stay tuned because we’ll send you a flyer on that next week. Then for our final meeting they decided and it was EF who suggested it that we go to the park. She said that hadn’t happened and she really wanted to do that. The group agreed with her and so we’ll going to go to the park and then go to California Pizza Kitchen and we will meet back at Gelson’s as per usual to say goodbye to everyone. So there we have it, what’s going to happen later this month and in early June. Don’t forget that there will be a parent dinner on June 1, Tuesday. Please call in and make your reservations for this.
So tonight, it was really about socializing and tolerance. We did a barbecue and so they shopped for their barbecue. Rather than doing steaks, hotdogs and other things, we just got hot dogs for everyone and that worked more smoothly. They socialized, they appeared to enjoy socializing, and we had three kinds of raffles. There was the blue ticket raffle, there was the hero ticket raffle where eight kids had a chance to win, and there was the LUNCH points raffle and two prizes were handed out for that. There was a parent’s meeting as well and what was impressive was how quietly and respectively the kids came in when they either needed water or to use the restroom.

The parent meeting in itself was nice in that there weren’t a lot of questions about generalization, but there were questions more about “What do I do with my child when they’re no longer coming to this group?” and this is very relevant and sometimes hard to answer, but parents talked about community services through organizations like J Nolan and about some of the things that their kids are doing where they’re getting out into the community more. One father (KV’s) talked about how his son is calling other kids and that was impressive. All in all, they were well-behaved, they helped set up chairs, they helped clean up, and it was a well rounded evening. One final thing we talked about was what to do with kids who are more isolated and this is hard because it seems to be a blend of how much they feel attachment to others and how much anxiety they experience and how competent they feel in having conversations. This is something that requires continued focus on the part of parents and my take is to have your kids immerse in different social situations so it gradually can become more comfortable. But that’s about it for tonight parents. I will look forward to seeing your kids in two weeks as we continue the winding down process. Thanks.

School Year Teen 09-10 - Session 12

Hi, Parents:


Well, we are getting down to the wire, and I can feel it. . Tonight, we did an activity that made me realize how far some of your kids have come. It showed up in how they thought and what they had to say.

We began the group with 15 teens, and Sophie came tonight. She was a hit, as usual. And, in fact, I showed them a 3 minutes video that I had made with her starring." They are encouraging me to put on YouTube. We will see...

Anyway, they were engaged in their typical magazine reading at first, which gave way to conversations and more conversations. Really, that was the theme of the entire evening. Five of them had LUNCH Points and participated in a somewhat unusual LUNCH Points raffle. I started off by picking a number and then having them add the first two letters of their first name together to form a number. So, if somebody’s name was “Abe,” the A and the B would form the number 3. One student won that way. Then, for the second raffle, I had them listen to one of my favorite musicians and guess the person’s first name. Whoever came closest also won.  Doing things in this manner forces them to attend and maintain cognitive flexibility.  Since most, but not all win, it gives them yet another chance to handle disappointment without losing control or making it too much of a "big deal."

After the raffle, we headed out for Uncle Chen’s for Chinese food. Many of your kids tried new items. Some wanted Hero Tickets, and some got Hero Tickets. It was particularly impressive to watch EF try chicken with lemon on it. Her conclusion was that it was the lemon part that was unhealthy, but the fried chicken part was okay.

Other group members showed thoughtfulness and consideration as they passed things to one another. We did our usual working on manners, as well as just general social behavior, and not letting the volume get too loud during mealtime. Having said that, it really never got too loud; they were just enjoying themselves. None of them were raucous, but rather they were just teenagers having a good time. A group of women (it always seems to be a group of women.) were seated outside of our room.  They asked what the special event was, and looked a little puzzled when I said it was just a group of teenagers getting together for dinner.

The kids ate and ate, but they didn’t stuff themselves. They had wor won ton soup, spare ribs, shrimp in lobster sauce, beef with noodles, chicken with noodles, tangerine chicken, egg rolls, and, of course, fortune cookies. Believe it or not, despite the number of dishes on the table, there wasn’t much left when they finished.

During this time I asked your kids what they liked or didn't like about the group.  The majority of teens who had have been attending group for a longer period of time expressed themselves in a thoughtful manner and seemed more mature in how they responded.

We finished up and headed back with a couple of kids picking up their backpacks on the way. We also voted on what we wanted to do for our final outing, which will occur the third week in May. After choosing between the mall, which a few wanted, a picnic, (Only CP wanted that one, but he really wanted it.), laser tag, and miniature golf plus arcade, it came down to between laser tag and miniature golf/arcade. We did a runoff vote, and, by a verdict of three to two, they decided on going to miniature golf/arcade. So, we have a new activity to plan which will be at Castle Park.

So, that’s about it for now. We are in a winding down process. And thanks so much for having such great kids. See you next time.

School Year Teens 09-10 - Session 7

Hi, Parents!

Tonight's report on the teen group. I feel like I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I swear, your kids were great tonight, and I really mean it!

First of all, as promised from last week, we went out for frozen yogurt nearby, near Office Depot. I have to tell you, I took pictures of all of them, and they got the most creative infant-sized yogurts (and you'd be amazed how large an infant size can be with toppings), and every single one of the eleven yogurts that they got looked different from the others. These were like little cupcake creations that they had.

Anyway, they sat around, they had nice conversations, and then we transitioned over to our dinner. During dinner, it was water only because water had already acted as a dessert, and they didn't need to have juice or soda as a second dessert. They ordered a variety of items and shared appetizers, and just seemed to enjoy conversing with another. So, it was a relaxed, I would say somewhat longer time at dinner. As has been the case with the teenage group of late, the counselors do not sit with them. We sit nearby and watch and pay attention to what we are going to give them tickets for afterwards.

We then transitioned back to the office, and at that point, we did a LUNCH Points raffle. JP was the big winner, and he won a $15 Bananagrams game. There were only four kids out of the eleven who had even one certificate. So, as a reminder to parents, just one certificate gets them into the raffle and gets them time with the Wii. If you computer is broken, you can use the new "vacation form," {LINK HERE} and report the points that way. Giving the tickets to the kids and talking in a little circle for a moment turned out to be really helpful. We do talk about their behaviors, and we don't keep it a secret. A couple of the newer kids wondered about that and felt a little bit "singled out," but the group was supportive. So, some kids earned Hero tickets, if they were extra nice, or practicing social skills to a greater extent. Everyone earned at least a couple of blue tickets, and it was explained why.

One teen, who has been making references of late (CP) had toned it down quite a bit tonight, and we talked about that and tried to keep it lighthearted, rather than making it like a lecture. My guess is that he responded positively to that. One of the things that we are trying to do with the tickets is to use it as a social learning opportunity. It's really not about rewards for a raffle that they are going to get a month from now, or something like that, but more the opportunity to discuss these things and for them to show some group cohesion and camaraderie. That occurred in spades tonight, and it was really nice to see.

So, the group ended with some of the kids playing the Wii, and we talked about how the certificates for LUNCH Points are only valid from the end of one group to the beginning of the next group. At that point, they expire. So, in order to earn extra points, please be sure that they do bring the certificates with them. We also reminded the teens that it is their responsibility to remember, not their parents' responsibility.

So, that's it for tonight. A nice time. See you all in two weeks. And, as they know, they'll be going for dinner to a private dining room at John O'Groats, which we've already arranged. Take care, and have a good beginning of the month. -- Bruce

School Year Teens 09-10 - Session 5

Dear Parents:

Tonight we had a very full evening. All of the kids turned out. The first part of the group went very smoothly. We had reconfigured the office to better accommodate the parent group and also have the kids eating comfortably. What was interesting was that, immediately upon entering, they circled around the tables, and, within just a minute or two, were talking like “old friends.” As we transitioned into the larger room, we discussed the LUNCH Points program. (Some of the kids tried to negotiate being able to get credit, even though they hadn’t brought in their certificates or parts were missing.) The group members were able to remind one another that the rules include it being the group members’ responsibility to bring in their certificates; not the parents’ responsibility. Focusing on this in a consistent and low key manner over time has shown that the group members do become better at remembering to bring them in. One thing that I try to strive for is to have members remember to do things spontaneously, without being prompted. When we see this kind of behavior, generally that is what will produce the most lasting results.

We did one project, which involved having four different group members choose avatars and talk about what their implications were. This gave the group an opportunity to work on everything from being able to tell a story in an interesting and straightforward manner to having other group members practice being part of the audience without being disruptive. As with other types of behaviors, we made extensive use of positive practice strategies to help them be more successful.

Going to Gelson’s was fairly effortless. The group remained cohesive and required very little prompting to follow rules and remain respectful in the market. The group members were also helpful in picking up bags and carrying them back.

The parents came in at 6:00, a few minutes after the group members had begun to have their meal, and just before the raffles began. The parent meeting itself went very smoothly. Practically all the families (a total of twelve) attended. We reviewed the LUNCH Points program and the website in general. We then discussed different children’s behaviors and different kinds of strategies for helping kids with attentional deficits, kids who either lie or misrepresent information, as well as kids who are unmotivated. There will be a makeup tele-meeting this Thursday at 7:30 for families who could not make it.

There were some problems that occurred in the group, as reported by counselors afterward. Some of the alumni members were making comments that bordered on sexual innuendo during the raffle program. Also, one group member put gift cards belonging to the other group members in his pocket, and, when the group members said theirs were missing, he took them out. This was a confusing type of behavior because it was so obvious that the cards would be discovered. The group member stated that the cards were something that he had found and was planning to return. These kinds of illogical behaviors do happen among teens, and it is better that the lesson be learned in the group program than to have this occur out in the community. It just reminds me that, as much progress as some of the group members make, many of them remain vulnerable to experiencing urges and challenges that they are not able to think through very well or control. This is something that we will address at a future date.

Some of the group members had considerable difficulty managing their feelings when they did not win the second of the two raffles. (As a reminder, the blue ticket raffle is the one where everyone wins, and the hero ticket raffle is the one where half of the kids win. This is done to ensure that: (1) everyone does win a prize / acknowledgement for the tickets they have earned, but also: (2) there is an analog situation to some of the disappointments that are normally experienced in life, and to try to help them develop good sportsmanship related to them.

In all, it was a hectic but useful meeting, with twelve parents and fifteen group members all coming in within the space of 2 1/2 hours. However, in general, everyone seemed to have a good time.

Thank you so much, parents, for being so diligent and supportive and inquisitive, which helps move the process forward. See you for laser tag in two weeks.