Dear Parents:
Tonight we had a very full evening. All of the kids turned out. The first part of the group went very smoothly. We had reconfigured the office to better accommodate the parent group and also have the kids eating comfortably. What was interesting was that, immediately upon entering, they circled around the tables, and, within just a minute or two, were talking like “old friends.” As we transitioned into the larger room, we discussed the LUNCH Points program. (Some of the kids tried to negotiate being able to get credit, even though they hadn’t brought in their certificates or parts were missing.) The group members were able to remind one another that the rules include it being the group members’ responsibility to bring in their certificates; not the parents’ responsibility. Focusing on this in a consistent and low key manner over time has shown that the group members do become better at remembering to bring them in. One thing that I try to strive for is to have members remember to do things spontaneously, without being prompted. When we see this kind of behavior, generally that is what will produce the most lasting results.
We did one project, which involved having four different group members choose avatars and talk about what their implications were. This gave the group an opportunity to work on everything from being able to tell a story in an interesting and straightforward manner to having other group members practice being part of the audience without being disruptive. As with other types of behaviors, we made extensive use of positive practice strategies to help them be more successful.
Going to Gelson’s was fairly effortless. The group remained cohesive and required very little prompting to follow rules and remain respectful in the market. The group members were also helpful in picking up bags and carrying them back.
The parents came in at 6:00, a few minutes after the group members had begun to have their meal, and just before the raffles began. The parent meeting itself went very smoothly. Practically all the families (a total of twelve) attended. We reviewed the LUNCH Points program and the website in general. We then discussed different children’s behaviors and different kinds of strategies for helping kids with attentional deficits, kids who either lie or misrepresent information, as well as kids who are unmotivated. There will be a makeup tele-meeting this Thursday at 7:30 for families who could not make it.
There were some problems that occurred in the group, as reported by counselors afterward. Some of the alumni members were making comments that bordered on sexual innuendo during the raffle program. Also, one group member put gift cards belonging to the other group members in his pocket, and, when the group members said theirs were missing, he took them out. This was a confusing type of behavior because it was so obvious that the cards would be discovered. The group member stated that the cards were something that he had found and was planning to return. These kinds of illogical behaviors do happen among teens, and it is better that the lesson be learned in the group program than to have this occur out in the community. It just reminds me that, as much progress as some of the group members make, many of them remain vulnerable to experiencing urges and challenges that they are not able to think through very well or control. This is something that we will address at a future date.
Some of the group members had considerable difficulty managing their feelings when they did not win the second of the two raffles. (As a reminder, the blue ticket raffle is the one where everyone wins, and the hero ticket raffle is the one where half of the kids win. This is done to ensure that: (1) everyone does win a prize / acknowledgement for the tickets they have earned, but also: (2) there is an analog situation to some of the disappointments that are normally experienced in life, and to try to help them develop good sportsmanship related to them.
In all, it was a hectic but useful meeting, with twelve parents and fifteen group members all coming in within the space of 2 1/2 hours. However, in general, everyone seemed to have a good time.
Thank you so much, parents, for being so diligent and supportive and inquisitive, which helps move the process forward. See you for laser tag in two weeks.
