Hi, Parents:
If you were to read the blog from last night’s kids group and read the teen blog, you would probably think that we just copied one from the other. But, in fact, we didn’t. These are two entirely separate reports.
The fact is that the teens last night were pretty close to perfect, by and large. We have a few kids in the group who are stuck on what I will call “sexual innuendos.” I’ve tried some different ways to have them show greater self control and self awareness of the impact of their comments, but frankly have not been so successful. So, when one of the staff reported that this occurred early last night when some of the kids were playing the Wii, I called three of them into my office and had a brief meeting with them. I explained to them that I had been ineffective at having them control their behavior and was wondering if they had any suggestions for how I might become more effective. Two of the members of this small group (AG, CH) caught on to what I was saying, recognized their own behavior and promised that they would take a more active role in controlling themselves. However, the third member (CP) appeared to have more trouble with this concept and tried to justify his behavior. We agreed, however, that this was something where I needed to be more effective in helping them, so I will closely monitor over the next couple of sessions to see what occurs. I consider this to be a pragmatic social skill, because they are not showing a sufficient level of awareness of the impact that their behavior has upon others.
So, it was off to John O’Groats for dinner in our private dining room, and that went wonderfully smoothly. The kids ordered off kids’ meal menus, early bird specials and adult menus, and everyone seemed to enjoy what they received. It was AG’s birthday last night, and we followed our rule of providing a dessert that he would like for the evening. We learned that chocolate was his favorite, (What a surprise!) and ordered a four layer chocolate fudge cake which came from Solley’s deli in Sherman Oaks. Seventeen candles; one of course for good luck, were added. When he mentioned to me several times during group that it was his birthday, and I explained that I wished I had known about it before, I believe that helped produce the surprise that we wanted.
One of the reasons for doing this isn’t just to celebrate a birthday, but rather to give the kids an opportunity to practice being able to celebrate birthdays with another child and display appropriate behaviors during that time. It was one of the nicest birthday renditions I have heard, and we have it on video.
During dinner, the teens watched a video of the group, and appeared to enjoy seeing themselves in different settings during the group. There was lots of conversation, and the counselors spent very little time intervening. We did enforce our rule of saying, “please,” and, “thank you,” to the wait staff, and we also used our procedure of having the wait staff take back the items that they had put down if they did not receive a proper thank you. This had the desired result of giving them another opportunity to gracefully accept their food or beverage from the server. Otherwise, the evening was fairly uneventful. A couple of times, some of the kids came over and wanted to sit either near me or near one of the counselors, and we sent them back. This was not to be cold-hearted; but rather to really help them recognize that gravitating to adults is not necessarily a good escape for managing feelings of frustration that they might have when they are around their peers. Also, because peers can be noisy, I think overall helping them learn to increase their tolerance for noise or to say something to try to bring the noise level down is more effective than simply going over to adults. We also found that some of the participants engaged in what I felt were age-inappropriate reactions to certain common situations, such as asking to use the restroom. We use modeling and positive practice as a way of increasing and working on these skills.
Overall, a wonderful evening with the kids. Parents came right on time to pick them up, and that was very much appreciated. As a reminder, parents, there will be a parent meeting from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on Thursday, March 4. Please do not bring any siblings. This has been creating a serious problem and interfering with the group process. It is critical that, if you are planning to attend the parent meeting, there be no one else there other than an adult and your child, who is going to be attending group. I really hope that all parents respect this rule. Thanks very much. I look forward to seeing you soon.
If you were to read the blog from last night’s kids group and read the teen blog, you would probably think that we just copied one from the other. But, in fact, we didn’t. These are two entirely separate reports.
The fact is that the teens last night were pretty close to perfect, by and large. We have a few kids in the group who are stuck on what I will call “sexual innuendos.” I’ve tried some different ways to have them show greater self control and self awareness of the impact of their comments, but frankly have not been so successful. So, when one of the staff reported that this occurred early last night when some of the kids were playing the Wii, I called three of them into my office and had a brief meeting with them. I explained to them that I had been ineffective at having them control their behavior and was wondering if they had any suggestions for how I might become more effective. Two of the members of this small group (AG, CH) caught on to what I was saying, recognized their own behavior and promised that they would take a more active role in controlling themselves. However, the third member (CP) appeared to have more trouble with this concept and tried to justify his behavior. We agreed, however, that this was something where I needed to be more effective in helping them, so I will closely monitor over the next couple of sessions to see what occurs. I consider this to be a pragmatic social skill, because they are not showing a sufficient level of awareness of the impact that their behavior has upon others.
So, it was off to John O’Groats for dinner in our private dining room, and that went wonderfully smoothly. The kids ordered off kids’ meal menus, early bird specials and adult menus, and everyone seemed to enjoy what they received. It was AG’s birthday last night, and we followed our rule of providing a dessert that he would like for the evening. We learned that chocolate was his favorite, (What a surprise!) and ordered a four layer chocolate fudge cake which came from Solley’s deli in Sherman Oaks. Seventeen candles; one of course for good luck, were added. When he mentioned to me several times during group that it was his birthday, and I explained that I wished I had known about it before, I believe that helped produce the surprise that we wanted.
One of the reasons for doing this isn’t just to celebrate a birthday, but rather to give the kids an opportunity to practice being able to celebrate birthdays with another child and display appropriate behaviors during that time. It was one of the nicest birthday renditions I have heard, and we have it on video.
During dinner, the teens watched a video of the group, and appeared to enjoy seeing themselves in different settings during the group. There was lots of conversation, and the counselors spent very little time intervening. We did enforce our rule of saying, “please,” and, “thank you,” to the wait staff, and we also used our procedure of having the wait staff take back the items that they had put down if they did not receive a proper thank you. This had the desired result of giving them another opportunity to gracefully accept their food or beverage from the server. Otherwise, the evening was fairly uneventful. A couple of times, some of the kids came over and wanted to sit either near me or near one of the counselors, and we sent them back. This was not to be cold-hearted; but rather to really help them recognize that gravitating to adults is not necessarily a good escape for managing feelings of frustration that they might have when they are around their peers. Also, because peers can be noisy, I think overall helping them learn to increase their tolerance for noise or to say something to try to bring the noise level down is more effective than simply going over to adults. We also found that some of the participants engaged in what I felt were age-inappropriate reactions to certain common situations, such as asking to use the restroom. We use modeling and positive practice as a way of increasing and working on these skills.
Overall, a wonderful evening with the kids. Parents came right on time to pick them up, and that was very much appreciated. As a reminder, parents, there will be a parent meeting from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. on Thursday, March 4. Please do not bring any siblings. This has been creating a serious problem and interfering with the group process. It is critical that, if you are planning to attend the parent meeting, there be no one else there other than an adult and your child, who is going to be attending group. I really hope that all parents respect this rule. Thanks very much. I look forward to seeing you soon.
